This post is for mainly for gentlemen but ladies feel free to comment.
It really bothers me when men say a girl is too perfect. I don’t really understand it. How can someone be too perfect? And if you’re afraid to talk to “perfect” girls does that mean everyone you talk to is mediocre? So if I want a man I need to minimize my greatness? Well, that’s absurd (to me). I always thought it was a cop out. You know a guy doesn’t really want to be with you so instead of just saying, “I’m not really interested in you” they say, “You’re so perfect I just don’t want to mess it up.” Sounds like a load of bs doesn’t it?!?!
Apparently, this is really the way guys feel. Crazy I know. I’ve had a talk with a couple of guys and they say this is accurate. Men really feel that some women are too perfect. I’ve actually had a conversation with a guy who was diggin a girl and she was diggin him but he was like, “I mean, she’s so pretty and she seems like she’s a really good person. I think she’s too perfect for me.” WTF!?!?! How can someone be so “perfect” that you don’t want to date them!?!? I want the best in life so this is really a hard concept for me to grasp. I mean the first time the line was spoken to me I didn’t buy it AT ALL. I still don’t in its entirety but I’m trying. So fellas please help me understand.
First, what makes a girl too perfect? I think I am absolutely wonderful; but perfect!?!? Umm… I’m sure if thought long and hard enough I could come up with at least one flaw. I mean is there like a rubric? She can only meet up to 5 of your 6 qualifications? Secondly, if a girl is “perfect” but she still wants to date you is there a rank order of things she should stop doing? Which qualification is less important? For example if you want a girl who is pretty, can hold an intellectual conversation, is family oriented, cooks, and cleans which one should she mask? Clearly if she has it all she’s “too perfect” so what is a girl to do?!?! I really need to know!
Well, I'm not going to stop being as wonderfully perfect as I am for any man! J/k, I'm far from perfect, but I've heard statements such as these before. In my opinion, if a guy truly MEANS that a woman is too perfect for him, it's because he is not up to par yet; not yet good enough for her or someone like her. He may be family oriented, but not yet ready to start and support a family. Feel me? I'll respect when a man says that, but I won't wait around for him to GET perfect when I'm already there. ;)
ReplyDeleteLauren
I think it is just what Lauren said, and also self-esteem. He just may not be ready for certain aspects of that woman in his life, or he isn't confident in what he brings to the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI agree on the Self-Esteem. Many men..especially Black Men have an issue with self-esteem. Have you ever stopped to look at some of the women you see men dating these days!?!? You always ask yourself.. What the hell is he dating her for??? She has nothing going, no goals,no education, no drive. Just a ton of T&A, some good purchased hair and a cute smile. Many are afraid to date a woman at or above their own level. Its scary and it makes you think about what you can bring to the able. Sadly many men don't have much to bring to the table which is why you see them walking around with Buffie Da Body types with peanuts for brains.
ReplyDeleteNot saying she has a peanut brain but you know...
Anyway that's my two cents
Brandon P.
Oooops, I just realized that I was not supposed to comment. For Gentleman Only,...my bad!
ReplyDeleteLauren
Well, men need to feel like they're the king of the castle.. it's in you guys DNA.. accept it or not. So if HE doesn’t have anything going for him, he'll pick a SHE who has less. Hence, all us beautiful, educated, strong women still single. Some equate this engrained thinking to self esteem, but it's much deeper than that. It's not that "He needs to step his game up" perse as Us women finding someone "who has their game up" to match ours.
ReplyDeleteWhen I say a guy is "too perfect" that means he's too "in the box." I need to know he can get his hands dirty (let your mind wander to where it may). But, when and women think differently, so, eh, who knows what they're really thinking.
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@Lauren-I want women to comment as well.
ReplyDeleteRodney,
ReplyDeleteI hate to hear people say that as well, whether it comes from a male or female. I really do not understand that, or how you can know of a decent human being, impressive appearance, promising career, single, and able to hold their own, and not be interested. It bothers me. It all comes down to people being so used to having mediocre, that those people, and things that are "perfect" for them, they are afraid to accept it. Thus, they settle and make themselves believe that whatever and whoever they allow into their little box, they call their lifestyle, is the best things for them. They are cowards, and will never experience a "free" life as long as they have that attitude.
Rodney
From my experiences... I know guys say that say it because it really means... they aren't ready for the perfect one... I.E. they aren't really ready to settle down... I.E. They aren't ready for commitment... I.E. If they got with Mrs. Perfect they would likely mess it up.. I.E. Mess with the girls heart... I.E. she would no longer be able to be the "back pocket chick"... I.E. The dude misses out on Mrs. Right...
ReplyDeleteRamblings of a soul
MRS