1.Non-Christian - Jesus is very important to me. So not only do you have to believe in God but you must believe in his son as well. If you don't there's really no point. I am not saying that I won't be friends with non-Christian. I'm saying I won't seriously date you if this is the case.
2. Kids-I can’t date someone who has a child. I know this is SHALLOW but I really can’t. I have tried and it didn’t work. And it’s not because of the whole I don’t want any baby mama drama. I mean I don’t. But who does? That is a given I can’t deal with drama period so… The main reason however is I’m selfish. Like really selfish. And I love kids, really really love kids. But right now I love me more. It’s all about Shanel and when I have kids it’s not going to be all about Shanel anymore. So since I have made the conscious decision to not have children as of yet I’m not dating anyone with kids. I don’t like for my plans to be canceled because something happened to your child. Or I can’t see you on certain weekends because that’s when you have your kid. So, I’m sorry, I’ve tried and I can’t do kids. I know it sounds horrible but that’s how I feel at this point in my life.
3. Divorcées- To be completely honest I have a few insecurities. I hold marriage to a really high (I can’t think of the word) but it holds a lot of meaning to me. The bond between a husband and a wife is something so strong and sacred. So even when someone says they’re divorced deep down inside I feel like I’m in competition with the wife. Someone who at one point in time was the center of your existence. And she wins because you harbor/or harbored feelings for her that you don’t have for me. So in my mind she always has the one up. And I know this one is a little silly. But it’s how I feel and my feelings have been confirmed.
4. Co-workers – This one is simple to me. I mean what happens when we’re arguing? Here I am at work upset at you and I have to look at you! Not cool! Then when we break up I don’t want to see you every day. I don’t want to see or hear about you and your new boo. And I don’t want to feel awkward going to work because you’re there. That’s just added stress at the work place that can be avoided.
5. Friends- I can’t date my friends. When I say friends I don’t mean associates. I mean like really and truly friends. Someone you talk to on a regular basis, you’re in the same circle, you confide in one another. It takes me a while to call someone a friend. You have a wonderful relationship before you decide to be together so, so much is at risk. This one is multifaceted.
First, when we break up I need time to get myself together. I can’t get myself together if I have
to see you every time I hang out with “our friends”.
And that’s not really cool for the friends either. They shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable
because of the tension we’ve caused, that’s not fair to them. Oh, and if they have to pick
sides….
Next, it’s a double whammy, not only have a lost my man but I’ve lost my friend. So here is this
person I need on so many different levels and they can’t be any of that for me anymore. Is that
not so sad!?! I’m saying! I really need my friends so I’m not willing to chance it.
So there you have it. Please note the list is in no certain order. I know some of you are thinking now what happens if your husband happens to fall into one of the categories? Well, the only prayer that I’ve had for or about my husband is that God opens my eyes to the man he has for me. So if he proves me wrong and it turns out that my list of “do not date if…” is completely faulty I will be totally content!
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