Do Not Date If...

Someone requested that I blog about who I wouldn’t date and why. I do have a short automatic-you-don' t-even-get-a-chance list. I think that’s a fun, interesting and slightly controversial topic so I agreed. And without further ado:


1.Non-Christian - Jesus is very important to me. So not only do you have to believe in God but you must believe in his son as well. If you don't there's really no point. I am not saying that I won't be friends with non-Christian. I'm saying I won't seriously date you if this is the case.

2. Kids-I can’t date someone who has a child. I know this is SHALLOW but I really can’t. I have tried and it didn’t work. And it’s not because of the whole I don’t want any baby mama drama. I mean I don’t. But who does? That is a given I can’t deal with drama period so… The main reason however is I’m selfish. Like really selfish. And I love kids, really really love kids. But right now I love me more. It’s all about Shanel and when I have kids it’s not going to be all about Shanel anymore. So since I have made the conscious decision to not have children as of yet I’m not dating anyone with kids. I don’t like for my plans to be canceled because something happened to your child. Or I can’t see you on certain weekends because that’s when you have your kid. So, I’m sorry, I’ve tried and I can’t do kids. I know it sounds horrible but that’s how I feel at this point in my life.

3. Divorcées- To be completely honest I have a few insecurities. I hold marriage to a really high (I can’t think of the word) but it holds a lot of meaning to me. The bond between a husband and a wife is something so strong and sacred. So even when someone says they’re divorced deep down inside I feel like I’m in competition with the wife. Someone who at one point in time was the center of your existence. And she wins because you harbor/or harbored feelings for her that you don’t have for me. So in my mind she always has the one up. And I know this one is a little silly. But it’s how I feel and my feelings have been confirmed.

4. Co-workers – This one is simple to me. I mean what happens when we’re arguing? Here I am at work upset at you and I have to look at you! Not cool! Then when we break up I don’t want to see you every day. I don’t want to see or hear about you and your new boo. And I don’t want to feel awkward going to work because you’re there. That’s just added stress at the work place that can be avoided.

5. Friends- I can’t date my friends. When I say friends I don’t mean associates. I mean like really and truly friends. Someone you talk to on a regular basis, you’re in the same circle, you confide in one another. It takes me a while to call someone a friend. You have a wonderful relationship before you decide to be together so, so much is at risk. This one is multifaceted.

                     First, when we break up I need time to get myself together. I can’t get myself together if I have    

                     to see you every time I hang out with “our friends”.

                    And that’s not really cool for the friends either. They shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable          
                    because of the tension we’ve caused, that’s not fair to them. Oh, and if they have to pick
                    sides….

                    Next, it’s a double whammy, not only have a lost my man but I’ve lost my friend. So here is this
                    person I need on so many different levels and they can’t be any of that for me anymore. Is that
                    not so sad!?! I’m saying! I really need my friends so I’m not willing to chance it.

So there you have it. Please note the list is in no certain order. I know some of you are thinking now what happens if your husband happens to fall into one of the categories? Well, the only prayer that I’ve had for or about my husband is that God opens my eyes to the man he has for me. So if he proves me wrong and it turns out that my list of “do not date if…” is completely faulty I will be totally content!

Who should make the first move?

How do guys really feel about girls approaching them? I recently read a blog where it says guys hate it. I was very surprised by this because I’ve been in several conversations where guys say how much they would love it if a girl approaches them. So what’s the deal?


I consider myself to be pretty progressive in most areas but I’m still a little old fashion when it comes to girl/guys roles (not just ones in which I benefit). I mimic most of the models that were set before me. I mean I can’t see myself approaching a guy and really wanting it to go somewhere. I am a firm believer in that a guy goes for what he wants and if he wants me he will try to holler, If not keep it moving.

Let me know how do you feel about this topic?

When To Buy a Girl a Drink (part 2)

Time for the continuation of my, “when to buy a girl a drink” segment. I want to remind you that I'm not saying the whole guys buying drinks is fair, but like I stated before it is the society in which we live. So I’m just trying to help you out by letting you know when it is expected of you to buy a girl a drink. Please note that these are all real life scenarios.

Scenario 3
So I’m chilling minding my own business and this guy says, “Do you drink?” And I respond, “Yes.” Then he says, “So why aren’t you drinking? Oh, you’re just sitting looking cute, huh?” And I say, “I had a drink earlier.” Then he says, “What do you like to drink? I’m sure you were sipping on a glass of wine or some pretty drink.” My response was, “I had a rum and coke.” And he was like. “Oh, rum and coke I see”. END SCENE. Now I only say end scene because at this point he starts talking about something else and I’m no longer interested in what he has to say. The ice breaker was about drinks so, umm sir….

Rule Number 3: If you are going to talk to me for ten minutes about drinking, asking me why I’m not drinking and what I drink, YOU, my friend, need to offer to buy me one!!! If you don’t want to buy me a drink there are PLENTY of other things we could talk about i.e. the weather, sports, work. Please get it together!

Scenario 4
I go to the bar to tab out so this one guys looks at me kinda crazy (in my opinion). So of course I look at him crazy and ask him if he has a problem. So he starts laughing and the conversation starts (FYI this is not a good way to get a girls attention). Anyhow, so we have this lame conversation and I should have walked away but every other sentence was about how beautiful he thought I was so I endured the rest. But, you know, enough is enough so after about ten minutes I politely tell him I need to go to coat check because I’m about to leave. So then he says, “Well what would you like to drink.” I say, “Oh, I really am about to leave, but thanks for the offer.” Well like most men he’s rather persistent so he says, “Just let me buy you one drink before you leave.” Since he insisted I said sure. I tell him I would like a rum and coke and he says, “Ok, I just want to let you know I can’t really afford it.” So I say, “EXCUSE ME!” And he says, “Really I can’t afford it, I’m broke.” And I’m like, “So, why did you offer to buy me a drink? I didn’t ask you for one. You watched me pay my tab which means I’ve already had something so I’m cool” And he says, “I just wanted to see how you would respond to me being broke.” So I say, “You being broke is your business. Please don’t buy me a drink if you can’t afford it. It’s not that serious.” And then he says, “No like I have no money at all. I can’t buy you a drink.” WTH!!!!!!!!! So of course I walk away because wth actually wtf! Then he has the nerve to say, “Oh, so you’re just going to walk away?” Yes sir I am. I don’t have time for this kind of foolishness. Are you serious!?!? No really are you serious!?!?!

Rule number 4: If you offer to buy a girl a drink YOU HAVE TO BUY IT!!!!!!

Sometimes I think someone is following me with a hidden camera. I swear. So I always look around before I react but so far no camera man has popped out. (sigh) I just don’t know!!!!

Ramblings

Alright so I’m pissed! Well not really pissed but a little frustrated.

 

First off my beautician cannot style my hair! I don’t get it. I got my hair cut in certain style (by someone else) and she just doesn’t style it right. I’ve try to tell her what I want; I’ve even brought in pictures. I mean I can style it by myself but I want someone else to do it every now and then. Plus I can’t curl the back like she does.  But I am so tempted to go in there next time and say just give me a relaxer and sit me under the dryer and I’ll go home and do the rest! I mean she’s a sweet lady and my hair is really healthy but I want a STYLE!!!!!!!

Secondly, I went to wal-mart tonight to get my final gift for the season (whoo hoo!). I decided to get a book (since I’m doing absolutely nothing). So I went looking for two specific books, the Conversation by Hill Harper and Living and Loving Out Loud by Cornel West. Do you think I found them? No! But I did see a million and one copies of New Moon, Dirty Old Men, every Danielle Steel novel ever written, and plenty other sleezy Black novels.  Now, I’m not downing any of the books they had. I absolutely love the Twilight Saga, I hear Danielle Steel is a wonderful author, and my personal bookshelf is full of those sleezy Black novels. But tonight I didn’t want to read a Tween book or something that would leave me alone and… And I didn’t want to go to bed thinking because I’m Black, educated, and ambitious I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. (Once again I’m not hating on these novels, I own several). I wanted to read something thought provoking. I wanted to be challenged intellectually. And I wanted the author to be Black. Is that too much to ask for!?!? Apparently it is!!!!

Lastly, Hill Harper has a girl friend!!!! What am I supposed to do!?!? He’s not going to fall in love with me when he sees me if he’s dating someone else! If Cousin Jeff has a girl I may just let myself go. What’s would be the point!

Alright well I like balance so let’s talk about three good things that happened today.

First, I was out of the house for more than 30 minutes for the first time since Saturday. YAH FOR ME!!!!

Next, I learned how to put eyeliner underneath my eyes! I’ve been trying to do this for a while now (some years) but it never turns out quite right. Not today, today my eyes were stunning lol (ok so that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it looked the way it should).

Finally, (I hope you guys are ready because this is HUGE) both Haagen Dazs and Ben & Jerry’s have individual servings of ice cream. Not the pint size ones but the ones you get at birthday parties. You know the one that comes with the little wooden spoon.  OMG this is amazing news!!!! Most of you already know I LOVE ice cream like really LOVE it (potential suitors please take notes). But I’m kinda an ice cream snob and the east coast doesn’t have the ice cream I like so I have to settle for Haagen Dazs and Ben & Jerry’s.  The good thing is since I don’t like it as much I don’t eat as much. Anyhow, back to the news… yes they have these little individual servings for like $1.00. I know my OK and TX friends are like wth!?! That’s a rip off! Yes friends it is even ice cream is expensive here!   That’s neither here nor there. I can get a small serving of ice cream whenever I want it and I’m sooo super duper excited! It’s the little things people!

For Gentlemen Only

This post is for mainly for gentlemen but ladies feel free to comment.

It really bothers me when men say a girl is too perfect. I don’t really understand it. How can someone be too perfect? And if you’re afraid to talk to “perfect” girls does that mean everyone you talk to is mediocre? So if I want a man I need to minimize my greatness? Well, that’s absurd (to me). I always thought it was a cop out. You know a guy doesn’t really want to be with you so instead of just saying, “I’m not really interested in you” they say, “You’re so perfect I just don’t want to mess it up.” Sounds like a load of bs doesn’t it?!?!

Apparently, this is really the way guys feel. Crazy I know. I’ve had a talk with a couple of guys and they say this is accurate. Men really feel that some women are too perfect.  I’ve actually had a conversation with a guy who was diggin a girl and she was diggin him but he was like, “I mean, she’s so pretty and she seems like she’s a really good person. I think she’s too perfect for me.” WTF!?!?! How can someone be so “perfect” that you don’t want to date them!?!? I want the best in life so this is really a hard concept for me to grasp.  I mean the first time the line was spoken to me I didn’t buy it AT ALL. I still don’t in its entirety but I’m trying. So fellas please help me understand.

First, what makes a girl too perfect? I think I am absolutely wonderful; but perfect!?!? Umm… I’m sure if thought long and hard enough I could come up with at least one flaw.  I mean is there like a rubric? She can only meet up to 5 of your 6 qualifications? Secondly, if a girl is “perfect” but she still wants to date you is there a rank order of things she should stop doing? Which qualification is less important? For example if you want a girl who is pretty, can hold an intellectual conversation, is family oriented, cooks, and cleans which one should she mask? Clearly if she has it all she’s “too perfect” so what is a girl to do?!?! I really need to know!

What I learned from the snow storm.

This snow storm left me with much refection time. I came up with the following conclusions:

1. I need the proper snow attire. I don't have anything water resistant! Boots, pants, coat, gloves, nothing! So yes, I will be buying some of those things soon

2. I need a man around the house. Now I know most people are going to interpret this one wrong. You're probably thinking I need a man because it's cold outside and I want to cuddle and blah blah blah. Nope, that would be an added bonus but it is not a necessity. I need a man because I'm not really into this whole manual labor thing. Digging snow = manual labor not cool, not cool at all!

 

Moms think they're so slick

Moms think they're so slick. Well my mom does at least. So I was talking on the phone with my mom and she asked me what I was doing. I told her cleaning my room. She immediately says, “Oh, that room!”  You see when I was younger we would get into it about my room. Well, not really get into it (my parents weren’t having that) she would constantly fuss about it being dirty and every now and then she would “clean it” by throwing everything away.

Anyhow, so she says, “Oh, that room!” And I say, “Mom, it’s not that bad; not like you’re thinking. I’ve gotten better about keeping my room up.” At some point she stops listening to me and says, “Well it doesn’t matter it’s not like you’re entertaining in there.” So I act like I don’t hear her and I say, “No, really. My room’s not dirty; it’s just a little messy. (She and I used to go back and forth on the difference between dirty and messy). So she repeats, “It’s not like you’re entertaining in there.” And I say, “You would be proud of how clean it usually is. I still don’t make the bed that often and sometimes I have clothes on the bottom of the bed but other than that it’s good.” She still says, “But it doesn’t matter if your room is dirty because it’s not like you’re entertaining in there”.

Ok so I give up; she wins. Clearly she’s not going to listen to a thing I say until I confirm that it doesn’t matter because it’s not like I’m entertaining in there. So as much as I tried to ignore her statement/underlying questions I respond with, “You’re right, I’m not entertaining in there BUT I keep my room pretty clean on a regular basis”.  She could care less about how clean I keep my room! And she skipped the awkward “so are you sleeping with anyone” talk.  She always finds a way to get the answer to that question without asking it directly.  So I guess she doesn’t think she’s slick, she actually is. Maybe I should be taking notes!

Healthy Body Weight

I went to the doctor today for a routine check up and he told me I was healthy for the most part. The only thing is that I’m overweight.  When he said this I was thinking, “really?!?!?” because I have lost some weight here recently and I think I’m looking rather small. But I just say, “oh ok” because I know according to those charts people are supposed to be really skinny.  But he doesn’t leave it at that. He then says, “You can’t gain anymore weight. You should try to lose a couple of pounds”. Then he asks me if I work out and all these other things. So I tell him yes. At the end he reminds as well as writes it in my chart that I should try to lose a couple of pounds and that I cannot gain anymore weight.

So time to process the information.

I was not offended because he is just doing his job. And if according to his papers I’m supposed to be at a certain weight he is supposed to tell me. Plus weight has never been important to me; I’ve never owned a scale. I just care that I look good in my clothes. When I don’t we have a problem. So me and the doctor are cool.

I did however leave the doctor’s office thinking this is why so many people have eating disorders. In my opinion the “healthy” body weight impossible for most people to obtain. But obtaining it is nothing compared to maintaining it. That’s the real test. But then I started thinking maybe the doctor isn’t wrong. Maybe the problem is our culture. I mean it is the healthy body weight for a reason! So why is it so hard to accomplish? Maybe it’s the foods we eat. Maybe it’s because our jobs are mainly sedentary in nature so we don’t do much physical activity. Or maybe we work so hard and get off so late that there’s no time to exercise.

I don’t have the answers to these questions. I do know however, that I haven’t been “trying” to lose weight since October but I’ve lost three pounds since my doctor’s visit in November. I’m not on a diet or anything but I do eat pretty healthy. I still eat regularly I just make sure I’m consuming my fruits and veggies. I do refrain from too many sweets, mainly ice cream (my weakness). I exercise four to five days a week for no longer than 30 minutes in the comfort of my own home. And that’s all. I’m not doing anything strenuous. So, maybe if everyone actually followed the food guide pyramid and got the recommended amount of physical activity per day weight wouldn’t be an issue. Just a thought…

The plight of the fair skin sista

I consider myself to be fair skin. I don’t think I’m light (compared to my family). I know I’m not brown (unless I go to like Florida or Mexico, the sun down there makes my skin overly golden). I’m not yellow (I have too many other hues to pull that off).Nor am I red (unless it’s in the middle of summer).  So yes I consider myself to be fair skin.

In October we took school pictures. Yes, teachers have to take them for yearbook purposes and they always give us a few to pass out if we so choose. I didn’t like the first ones I took so I decided to take retakes. Now, I forgot about the pictures so per usual I came to school without applying make- up.  Stacy comes to my room and says, “Are you ready for your retakes?” I am immediately distraught because even though I think I’m very pretty, my mac studio fix enhances my God given beauty. So we’re trying to think of whose powder I can use (there aren’t many Blacks at my place of employment). So we agree upon my principal but she’s not in the office yet. So we’re telling to the bookkeeper my dilemma and she just so happens to have the whole make-up counter with her. Just in case you’re wondering my bookkeeper is not Black; she’s Latina. So I take her powder and it works! So now not only are my Black friends making fun of me for my color my non-Black friends are telling me I need to go tanning. 

Anyhow, so the other day I was examining my pictures taken in October thinking they’re not so bad. And I look super brown, which is always a plus in my book! Well, today I get the retakes back (that I took the first of the month). The first thing that jumps out at me is how light skin I look in the picture! Are you serious!?! Am I really that pale!?!? What concerns me more is does my make-up match my skin anymore!?!? Am I walking around with my face and neck a different color!?!? If so why hasn’t anyone said anything to me??? I don’t wear make-up enough to have a winter compact and a summer compact. I mean I guess it’s a good thing I only wear make-up when I go out. Most times those occasions call for dimly lit settings. But what happens when I have to go somewhere in the middle of the day?? Or if I’m going somewhere that’s well lit?? If I so happen to commit this offense I hope someone is kind enough to pull me to the side and let me know. Oh the plight of the fair skin sista!

The Golden Rule

Alright so supposedly I am spoiled. Now when I think of spoiled I think of people who always get their way, have tantrums when things don’t go how they want them to, and always get what they want. You know basically brats. Well I always said since I don’t always get what I want and I don’t have tantrums I am not spoiled. I can’t deny the fact that people do things for me fairly often nor can I deny that when I want things to happen they usually do. People have said I have an, “uncanny” way of getting what I want. People have also said that I am a master of persuasion. I don’t agree and I don’t think I’m spoiled. I think I am very deserving of whatever people do for me.

1.       I consider myself to be a nice person.

 Some people think I am super nice but I think I’m just regular nice. I don’t go above and beyond when doing things for others. I simply treat people the way I want to be treated. I know that it’s so elementary but it is always in the forefront of my mind when interacting with others. I expect people to be nice to me so I’m nice to them.

2.        I don’t expect anything from anyone.

 When people do things for you it’s because they want to not because they have to. I think I make it very clear that I understand this. Granted almost every time Marcel and I go to dinner he pays. But I know he doesn’t have to. He does it because he wants to.

3.        I am appreciative

I am so grateful for everything people do for me. I try to make sure people know their kind acts are greatly appreciated.

So yes it is true I get my way a lot; people do nice things for me often. But it’s not because I’m spoiled. It’s because I do nice things for people and in return people do nice things for me. It is true friends, you reap what you sow!

Merry Christmas!!!

I went to the mall today, to see what I could get once I got paid, and I just so happened to lock my keys in the car. I knew it the moment I did b/c I decided to carry my tote instead of my purse but I had already thrown my keys in my purse; in any case it was cool. I have AAA so I decided I would call them when I was done perusing the mall. So when I call they say it will be about an hour (because of traffic). That’s cool; I can look around some more.  So the guy gets there and we’re chatting while he’s breaking into my car. When he’s done I say, “Thank you so much. Oh, and Have a Happy Holiday!” So he stops and says, “Merry Christmas to you too. I mean Happy Holidays, or whatever you’re supposed to say.” And I say, “No no Merry Christmas is fine.” But he didn’t hear that last part because he was already in the car. In just that instant I fell victim to societal trends.  I wish I would have just said Merry Christmas. Now that man is thinking he ran into one of those people who are trying to take Jesus out of the holiday but I’m really not. Well, I don’t really know how to finish this blog so I guess it’s over…

Verbal expression is an overrated interaction. Everyone should keep to themselves. They should make decisions and come up with conclusions solely based upon their own perceptions and theories. That's what you tell me when you fail to communicate.

Maybe it really is me!

So semi recently I was in a quasi-relationship. During this time I realized there are a lot of things about a relationship that I really enjoy. So, I decided I was ready for a real relationship. So after the quasi relationship ran its course I asked my cousin, Marcel, to hook me up with one of his friends. His initial comment was, “He’s a lot like me so I don’t think you want to deal with that.”  He immediately retracts his statement by saying, “Well, you’re basically a guy so maybe HE shouldn’t talk to you. I would hate for you to play him.” As you can imagine I was very offended. I gasped and said, “Marcel, I can be a GREAT girlfriend just ask _____________.” So he replies, “I didn’t say you COULDN’T be a good girlfriend, I’m saying you don’t want a boyfriend right now. You’re not ready for that.” Now who is Marcel, of all people, to tell me what I want and what I don’t want or what I’m ready for; he doesn’t even know what he wants! Luckily for me I don’t need his help to find guys to date.  I’ve gone out on a couple of dates with a couple of different guys but the situation always turns out the same.

Guy #1 – Now guy number 1 is a good guy. He has a stable job, steady income, and he’s into me (so he says). So what’s the problem? Guy #1 is confined to his home. I like to be out and about so that’s not really going to work for me. And we just don’t have a lot of things in common.

Guy #2 – Like guy #1 he’s a good guy, has a stable job, and steady income. So what’s the problem?  We’re on a date and I think we’re having a wonderful time, somewhere during the conversation he states, “I’m really good at this dating and having fun thing, but I have a problem when it comes to relationships.”  (sigh) Well at least he let me know on date one right?

Guy #3 – Starts off the same as the other two, good guy, stable job, and steady income.  So what’s the problem? We’re not on the same page on a lot of topics mainly religion.

Alright, so we have three different guys with three different reasons to not be in a relationship.  So I will be the first to say maybe Marcel was right, maybe I’m just not ready for this whole relationship thing. Good thing I LOVE to date!

When to buy a girl a drink (part 1)

Now, there are plenty of societal rules that I am not so crazy about. Others I will honestly say are very beneficial to me. One in particular is having drinks bought for me at the club. I won't say that I expect you to buy me a drink but I am accustomed to receiving them. As a rule (on most nights) I won't accept a drink from a guy that I don't want to talk to after receiving it. Actually, I usually only take drinks from guys I wouldn't mind going out on a date with. A drink is always better when a meal is to follow! I'm not saying the whole guys buying drinks is fair, but hey, it's the society in which we live. So I want to let you know when it is expected of you to buy a girl a drink.

scenario 1
One night I was at the club having a grand ole time when I was approached by this guy. He asked if I wanted to dance and I just so happened to like the song so I said yes. Now those of you who know me know dancing is not really my strong suit. I'm not necessarily the worst dancer but it is vital for me to know the song so I'll be somewhat familiar with the beat and there are some songs I just can't dance to. I am very aware of this disability so unless I've had a couple of glasses of (insert your drink of choice) I decline. In any case I said yes. So we're dancing and chatting song 1 is over. In the middle of song 2 he asks for my number, as of right now his company is cool so I give it to him. So we're approaching song 3 and I've done too much dancing for me. Plus it's hot and it's crowded and umm sir I'm a little thirsty.

Rule Number 1: If you're going to dance with a girl for an extended length of time she needs a drink.

Scenario 2 (This has only happened to me once in life)
I minding my own business walking around the club and this guy stops me and says, "Come have a drink with me." So at first I say, "no, I'm cool" (b/c I wouldn't really talk to him). But he insisted so I said ok. So the man walks me to the bar, orders his drink and then crickets... Umm sir, you asked me to have a drink with you which means you are funding this operation. Well of course I starting walking away but he proceeds to try to get me to stay and talk. I have nothing to say to you, please get out of my way!

Rule Number 2: If you say come have a drink with me, you pay!!!!

Please stay tune for part 2!!!

I NEED A DRINK!

So the other day I was at church and the Pastor said he doesn't see where bibically there is anything wrong with having a drink every now and then. He did however say it becomes a problem when Christians say, "I need a drink!" As most of you can imagine the very next day I "needed a drink". But because just the night before the pastor said Christians shouldn't need a drink I yielded to temptation. Now a week later (exactly) I REALLY "need a drink". So, is it wrong to ask for forgiveness while committing this trangression?!?! I really need to know!

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger

So, Tiger cheats DUH!!!!!!!

Not saying that's ok but he is professional athlete who just so happens to be EXTREMELY rich, what did you expect? No, he's not a sex addict; he's a rich and famous person who can have just about any woman he wants.

Now does this make it right? Absolutely NOT!!! Am I surprised? Absolutely NOT!!! Is he wrong? Absolutely YES!! Do I think if you asked other professional athletes if they had multiple mistresses and they answered honestly would their answer be yes? Absolutely YES!!


I personally think almost all (I never say all) famous people cheat; it's way too easy. Even if they start off faithful I think eventually they will give in to the temptation. I think the women who are in serious relationships with famous people are crazy. I think the mistresses are whores.

With that being said, if given the opportunity to date someone famous would I?? Umm probably yes. I'm sure I could find a way to overlook some things, at least for a little while. Would I be a mistress?? Now since people are reading this I want to say no. I would like to think that I have very high morals (and in most cases I do). However, there are a couple of men (two names come to mind) that may make me forget everything I was taught.

I know I know what a shame! lol

My List

So last spring I was charged up about not having a list or criteria so to speak that I look to when choosing someone to date. Then recently, I was told that I should at least have something so I know for sure what I don't want. Or when I make a mistake I could go back and say, "oh yeah, that's why it was on the list!" In any case I have succumb to the pressure and decided to make a list.

1. Visibly puts God first - now, I added visibly because EVERYONE says they believe in God and that he is the head of their life but we can't always see it. I don't want to have to ask my ideal mate how important God is to him, I want to be able to detect it based on his actions.

2. Has obtainable goals and a plan to accomplish them - Though I constantly keep my head in the clouds my feet are firmly planted on the ground. I think the same should go for him.

3. Is fun to be around - In my world laughter is vital for survival.

4. Loves me as much as I love him - I have very high expectations concerning how people should treat the people they love. If you share those expectations we'll be fine!