You say he's just a friend

Can guys and girls have purely platonic relationships? This is a question I have been confronted with on many occasions. So what do I believe? I think girls and guys can be friends without being attracted to one another. I have many male friends that I am not the least bit attracted. I have several male friends who may be physically attractive but our personality’s clash. I have a lot of male friends, maybe more than most but I don’t want anything from them except for their friendship.


I do understand that when you have a significant other the dynamics of your relationships with persons of the opposite sex have to change. When my male friends have girls I am very conscious of the time I call them at night. I don’t care how great of friends you are calls after mid-night must cease. If we eat dinner together all the time either the number of dinner meetings decrease or she starts attending. When I need something I will call one of my single guy friends first even if you are closer. Do the changes mean we’re no longer friends? Absolutely not. It simply means that we our both doing our part to respect your relationship.

Are there cases where one person just wants to be friends and the other person has ulterior motives? Well of course. I would like to go on a limb and say most people know if their “good friend” wants more. If you don’t know let me help you out. These are the people who don’t respect your relationship. These are the people who get mad at you when you can’t go to the movies with them because you and your girl already have plans. These are the people who get mad when they call and they hear your man’s voice in the background. I wouldn’t really call these people friends I would call them wishful thinkers. They are people who are willing to be your friend with the aspiration of it becoming something more. But does everyone feel this way? No. Everyone from the opposite sex does not want to be with you; if you feel this way please get over yourself. Likewise, if you want to get with everyone from the opposite sex please go get neutered or something.

With that being said, it is really hard for me to grasp why people think this can’t be done. Why can’t girls and guys have platonic relationships? I will admit my friends and me have a unique friendship. “The family”, as I so affectionately call us, has been together since freshman year in college. We are a rather large group of girls and guys and we are just friends. I will confess that throughout our tenure in college a few people may have made out or had short lived flings, but that’s all. After years of being together the attractions died down and beautiful friendships formed. We have been with each other through highs and lows. I know that if I need anything I can call anyone in the family and it’s done.

Naturally, when I have a significant other I want him to accept my family. I don’t even have to say I want my family to accept him because I know they will. Even if they don’t think he’s right for me, he will never know. They will tell me how they feel and allow me to make my decision. If I choose to keep him around they will accept him with open arms. I don’t really know if I can be with someone who doesn’t accept my guy friends because in denying them he will be denying a part of me.

The person who is the “one” for me will be susceptible to the fact that before he came into the picture I had guy friends. He will be sensitive to fact that these guys have been there for me when I needed them. The guy for me, though he may be a little suspect at first, won’t ask me to choose because he will trust me. The guy for me will understand that I am a girl and I have strictly platonic friendships with guys. The guy for me will be confident enough in himself to know that even though all these other guys are in the picture, I chose to be with him.