Who would I be

Over spring break I had the great pleasure of hosting my parents. Now I use the term hosting very loosely because all I really did was provide them with a place to stay, well and I guess a car. In any case they stayed with me for a week.  During this week I realized a couple of things.

First off I am so much like both of my parents it’s scary. My dad would do something and I would be like OMG I’m just like him! Then my mom would do something and I would be like OMG I’m just like her! I would like to say I hand-picked the best attributes from both parents and metamorphosed into this beautiful mixture of them both. However, some things I witness were good and others bad.  

Secondly, I realized I really miss the option of seeing my parents on a regular basis. My trips home are often hindered by, well… home. So after being there for a significant amount of time I’m ready to leave the place.  Taking the people out of the place showed me how much I really miss them. When I go home I’m always ready to come back. However, I was not ready for them to leave.

The most intriguing thing I realized is that I am extremely independent, but by necessity not by choice. There were several times when I would just automatically do something for myself and my mom would respond, “Goodness Shanel, let us help.” By the end of the week though, I was somewhat helpless. I got used to people doing things for me and I enjoyed it lol.  I wondered how different I would be if I stayed close to home. I mean day one my parents went and bought groceries; mainly because we don’t eat the same foods. But I had every intention of taking them shopping for the things they like and paying for it. But that didn’t happen so…. Next, they paid for everything. We went out to eat everyday (even though I had planned to cook), they paid. Any of the sightseeing things we did, they paid. When we got gas, they paid. They even bought me a new suit and some pumps! I mean it was great let me tell you.

But I started thinking about the whole thing. I know if I still lived in Oklahoma I could stay with them. I wouldn't but my mom has offered. But like even if I stayed by myself how independent would I be? I feel like I would go out to eat with them every Sunday (my mom doesn’t really cook on Sundays anymore). Before going grocery shopping I would check their cabinets first then make my list accordingly. My mom would still buy me clothes from time to time. My dad would help with major issues pertaining to my car. The list just goes on and on.

So would I be independent? How long would this last? I mean I’m 26 going on 27. How long do parents hold on to their “little girls”? Who would I be? People who have known me for a good length of time can attest to how I’ve changed since moving far away.  Most of the changes have been subtle but personality changes no matter how big or small are significant to who we are. I really like who I’ve become but I’ve never considered how I wouldn’t be the same person had I chosen a different path.  I guess there’s no sense in dwelling on questions that will forever remain unanswered. I’m still very intrigued.