Just FYI....

There is something about experimenting in the kitchen and listening to neo soul that completely relaxes me. Truth be told, I don’t think I ever really appreciated Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite ‘til now.

Here’s the deal, I’ve been stressed for the past couple of days. For whatever reason I am feeling compelled to plan out the next ten or so years of my life. Problem is I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO! I mean I love teaching. But I want to be more than just a teacher. What more you ask? Well shoot, I don’t know! I thought I had an end goal but in my preparation to make steps towards this alleged goal I started feeling unsure of myself. I’ve always known what I wanted to do. I think this is the first time that I really just don’t know where my life is headed. Super scary! Well not that scary because like I said I love teaching so if that’s what I’m going to do for the rest of my life that will be ok. But I’ve never done anything for the “rest of my life”. Starting after elementary we have some type transition every couple of years.  So…I’ve been doing this for three years now so in accordance with life (up to this point) it’s just about time for a transition.

But I’m not going to think about that tonight. I am going to eat this delicious Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta I conjured up, sip a glass of chardonnay, and listen to some soothing music (The Foreign Exchange is currently being played), and enjoy this tranquil mood. 

So for tonight let's just leave it all behind.........

The Conversation

I recently read the book The Conversation by Hill Harper. Let me first say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t generally read relationship book. Actually, I hate books on relationships. Somehow, I get suckered into reading them but I’ve never read one in its entirety until this one. I didn’t realize the book was about relationships until I after I purchased it (yeah, not really sure how I missed that point either). I kept hearing good things about it, and then I ran across it while at an airport one day so I quickly made my purchase. I was reading something else at the time so I just stuffed the book in my bag. I didn’t get it out until I was traveling again. That’s when I realized it was about relationships. I will honestly say I was a little distraught but I didn’t have anything to read so I was like what the heck, let’s give it a go.

Subsequently, I loved it! I'm pretty sure the reason I enjoyed it is because it didn’t give me an answer. It wasn’t like, “here a prescription on finding and keeping a man”. Most relationship books are like do this and don’t do that and blah, blah, blah. But that’s not how life works. The real world doesn’t have a concrete set of rules. And this book explored the concept that people are different and different things work for different people. I really appreciated that.

I loved how I didn’t feel like I was being lectured. I felt like I was listening in on a conversation (no pun intended, that’s really how I felt). My only complaint is I felt like I was listening to a conversation but I couldn’t participate…

Things I Hate

Disclaimer: This post is completely random. I am simply rambling. Most men won’t be able to relate and will think this is completely meaningless. Feel free to stop reading at this point. Ladies, though you will be able to relate you may still feel this read is a waste of time so you may feel free to stop reading at this point as well. For those of you who have nothing better to do….have at it!

Things I hate:

Exercising- I absolutely hate working out. I dread it so much that I start thinking about how much I don’t want to do it at around 2:00pm. I think about how many times I’ve worked out that week already. I think about how many times I’ll be able to work out during the week if I don’t work out that particular day.  I think about what I’ve eaten that day and if it would maybe be ok if I skip this day. All this goes through my head until about 5 or 6 o’ clock when I finally decided to strap on my sneakers and give it a whirl. Or when I decide that today is going to be the day I skip! Yes my friends, I loathe working out.

Shaving- I hate shaving. I am so upset with the man (b/c I know it wasn’t a women) who decided that he likes his women better with less hair. I am even more upset with the woman who decided to try it out. But more than that I’m upset with the man for telling his friends he got his girl to shave who then told their girls to shave and started this awful trend. I mean ya’ll couldn’t just keep it to yourselves?!?!

Waxing- Again I am mad at the person who thought up shaving because I only have to wax because it’s better than shaving! I think to myself every time I get ready to sit in that chair, “now why am I doing this? What kind of idiot subjects themselves to this kind of pain over and over and over?” (sigh)

So why do I do it you ask? Easy, I’m afraid of being a big girl (I don’t have anything against big girls I just don’t think I would be a pretty one).  Therefore I suffer through work out after work out to ensure I stay a comfortable size. I love the way my legs feel when I lotion up after I shave. I also enjoy the feeling of prickle free legs against satin sheets; so I shave. I love how arched eyebrow accent the face and I love how smooth my skin is after a fresh wax; so I endure the pain.

People have said to me, “Girl, Idk why you do all that, you don’t even have a man to appreciate it”. But it’s simple, I do it for me. If I were only doing this for a man as soon as we got “comfortable” I would stop. I wouldn’t be able to keep up the façade because though I’m nice I don’t generally do things for other people that would put me out. Then he would be mad because I wouldn’t be the same girl he tried to get at. We all know how that goes….

Somehow all these things I completely and utterly hate leave me feeling absolutely wonderful after I do them. So I do what I must to look/feel how I want!

Reflection

My trip to The Gambia was absolutely amazing.  It was truly an unforgettable experience. Now it’s time to reflect. The first thing I noticed was how peaceful I felt. Like the moment you arrive it’s like aura of peace is all around you. The people are genuinely nice. When people ask you how you’re doing they really want to know how you’re doing; it’s not just pleasantries.  And, they expect an answer (this took me a minute to get used to).  

The next thing I noticed was how the women carried themselves. They were always dressed from head to toe. We’ve all seen traditional African attire, that’s how most of the women dressed every day. And I’m not just talking about the women in the city, but even the women in the villages. They really cared about their appearance. And not in the prima donna kind of way but in the, I take pride in how I look kind of way. I was truly impressed.

             ***Warning I’m about to get real deep***

So, I am a Christian and I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God is in complete control. I still believe this but this trip made me feel a little differently about the whole concept. When I look at the conditions of The Gambia compared to the States I have questions.  For me to believe that everything that happens is in God’s will means I have to accept the fact that God allowed my ancestors to be ripped from their homes and suffer through the middle passage. The survivors were enslaved, beat, raped, and murdered. Those who just so happened to survived all that had to endure discrimination of all sorts. The list of what my ancestors had to bear goes on and on. But for what?

Did all this really happen so I can live in a developed country and have a surplus of opportunities? Did God know that one day I would be born so he allowed me benefit from other’s suffering? And if the answer to these questions are yes what am I doing? Am I taking full advantage of opportunities afforded to me?  I mean people paid for this with their life. Am I really fulfilling my destiny? I just don’t know, I just really don’t know….

Going Home

Like all other good things my time in the Gambia has come to an end, tearL (a summary blog is soon to follow).  Needless to say my journey home was quite eventful. So here it goes…

We leave the hotel around 2:00pm (9am eastern) Friday afternoon. First we have to see the commander. Now you probably don’t know this but Muslims have what they call Jumu’ah, this is a congregational prayer on Friday, every Friday. In The Gambia they hold this around 2pm. I’m pretty sure every Gambian knows about this because it’s a big deal. Like all the Muslims participate and the national religion is Islam so…. yeah.  Anyhow, at around 2 we decide to stop by the Commander’s office, who can’t see us because he’s praying with everyone else, so we had to wait. Makes complete sense to me!

So we finally hit the road around 3ish (10am eastern). You guys already know about the drive so we won’t even go into that. I’ll just say I was mentally prepared this time so it was better.

We get into Dakar at around 10:30pm (5:30pm eastern). Let’s dwell on this for a moment. Now, there are no stoplights in Dakar, not a one! So it’s basically like a free for all. You just kinda go when you want to. I mean everyone yields and then you just take turns. Mind you Dakar is a metropolitan area with a population of over 2 million. Yeah, and no stoplights… not a one. The people I’m with don’t really know where they are going so we drive around this metroplex, with no stoplights, for over an hour.  Needless to say I was a little on edge.

We finally make to the airport at midnight (7:00pm Eastern). Let me remind you that I left my hotel at 2:00pm (9am eastern). It takes us over 2 hours to check in and get through security. My flight was at 3:30am (10:30pm eastern). So we start boarding at what 3:00am (10am eastern)? So it’s 3:30 and we’re not moving; like we haven’t had the turn off your electronics speech or anything. So finally they make an announcement I’m not really sure of the time because I left my hotel at 2:00pm (9am Eastern) and it’s now after 3:30am (10:30pm eastern) so I’m slightly delusional. Apparently the jet stream is real bad so the 9 hour flight is going to take 9.5 hours (mind you the flight there was 6 hours). On top of that the plane is too heavy since that extra .5 hours is added. So they ask all the stand-by passengers to get off. Umm, now it’s 4:40am (11:40pm eastern) and we’re still not moving. So they make another announcement. Since we’ve been sitting here burning fuel we still don’t have the correct weight: fuel ratio. So what’s the solution? They have to debag the plane. That means everyone’s luggage has to be taken off and left in Senegal. Now, I wasn’t upset at all. Number one, I’d prefer my luggage in Senegal over me in the Atlantic any day. Number two, I’m going home and I kind of have a very small case of OCD so I have at least two of everything at home because you just never know… So yeah, we finally leave around 5:00am (noon eastern) Saturday morning. Let me remind you I left my hotel at 2:00pm (9:00am eastern).

After the ridiculously long flight, and extremely long layover (which was a blessing in disguise because most people missed their connection flight) I make it to DC.  Of course I wait for Marcel for over an hour because he’s just leaving when I arrive. And for you DC people I didn’t fly into DCA, I flew into Dulles. A mess I know! To top matters off I didn’t have a coat and was REALLY cold outside. And, my car had to be dug out of the snow before I can drive. Back to the real world (sigh)

The Market...

The market oh the market, smh. Now, I consider myself to be a pretty good bargain shopper.  I mean when I go to New York I can talk to those people and get my purses at about any price I want. I come in with my “don’t try to play me” attitude or my alter ego as referred to by Faith, East Coast Shanel (ESC) shows face.

But I didn’t have it here. I think it was because there were so many factors to consider. First, sometimes they would give me a price and sometimes they would ask how much I wanted to pay. Next, I had to convert it from Dalasi to US dollars. Then I had to think about how much I would pay for it in the states. Then I had to decide if that’s how much I would pay for it here. I don’t want to cheat the people out of a good price but I don’t want to be cheated either.  I mean don’t charge me how much you would commonly make in a day on one items because I’m a foreigner.

Then it was like I feel better about doing it in the states or somewhere like that because I know some girl in a shop made it for a dollar a day. So even though I’m barely paying anything you’re still making a profit because you’re not paying the workers. Here I’m watching you sew this dress or carve this figurine.  Then it’s like well that could be part of the hustle too, let me sit here and make this one rug so this silly girl can think I’m doing all the work when really I have a couple of girls in the back that I’m not paying. Clearly, I am guilty of over thinking the whole operation but that is way too much to do at once!  So friends, as of now the souvenirs aren’t looking so good. L I am going to try the market one more time. We’ll see how it goes.

Church

  This is a picture of the Christian church we attended. Saying that driving up to the building was a humbling experience would completely be an understatement. When we drove up we were all like, “Umm, they can’t be having service here, this church isn’t finished.”  We were informed that this was the only church they knew of.  We were a little early but we could see there were a few people on the inside. Indeed this is where service was to be conducted so we walked in and had a seat.

Though there were no windows it was cooler than I thought it be. I’ve been to many churches in backwoods Oklahoma in the middle of the summer with no air conditioning and this church was definitely cooler than a lot of those.  The service was rather nice. Even though everything was basically in English there was still a language barrier. Also, the scenarios used during the sermon were catered to the population (which it the way it should have been) so I missed out on a lot. But I got the gist of what was going on so it was all good.

The best part to me was the singing. First off I knew all the songs! And you all know how I need to be able to sing along with the people during praise and worship. Next, I thought they sounded absolutely amazing. I enjoyed it so much that I almost felt like I was in a novel based out the 60’s. You know the ones where the White people in the story are talking about how much they love to go to the Black church in the evening just to hear them sing. Yeah, I know just shameful. But that’s really how I felt. Overall I enjoyed it!

Baby Naming Ceremony

On Saturday Feb 6^th we were invited to a Baby Naming Ceremony. When I first heard the news I allowed my imagination to run wild. I envisioned a guy dressed in an all white traditional garment holding a baby up to the sky saying a prayer in his native tongue. All the while the women would be singing the song from the Color Purple when it kept switching between the scenes where Celia is getting ready to shave/cut Mr. and Nettie and the children were at a ceremony in Africa.

We were told to arrive at 2:00pm. When we arrived it seemed as though not much was happening. There were a few people sitting on the lawn but nothing more so we decided to run a few errands. When we returned not much had changed. We were taken inside and introduced to everyone then we patiently waited. While we were waiting we made observation on how everyone was acting so leisurely. People were walking around, talking, sitting down, and cooking, just kinda chillin. So we had the discussion on how “CP time” had nothing on this; I mean nothing. The other thing was no one seemed to care. Everyone was perfectly content that two hours later the ceremony still hadn’t started. After the mom changed into outfit number three we begin to make inquiries, how long does the program last? About what time will it start? What exactly takes place at the ceremony?

Much to my dismay there is no “Color Purplish” ceremony taking place (sigh).  A baby naming ceremony lasts for one day. In the morning the parents bring the child out, someone prays for them, and then everyone has breakfast. A few hours later lunch is served then hours later everyone eats dinner. There is also music and dancing. People come all throughout the day some come and go while others stay all day.

While I was somewhat disappointed with my findings, sitting around was rather comforting. One, the actual ceremony was very similar to a baby dedication in the states. Two, the program had an outdoor BBQ feel (minus the grill). The people were all congregated in different groups of men in one area, women over here, women over there, the younger men on one side, the younger women on the other, and children running around everywhere.   

The African elements of the program were, everyone was dressed in traditional African attire and the family finances the whole shindig which includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, and entertainment for all parties involved. We were there during lunch so when it was time to eat they called us inside to a back room. They brought two large bowls of an African cuisine, a bowl of water, and some spoons.  As we walked back outside and I saw everyone else eating I realized they took us to the back so we would be comfortable. Though I was completely ready to eat a tradition African meal, outdoors, communally, with my hands, I was very grateful for the opportunity to eat in the back with a spoon.

The Drive

So we made it! The plane landed at 4:50am and I haven’t slept a wink. Now I have to prepare for a 6-7 hour drive from Senegal to The Gambia. Now those of you who know me know I don’t sleep in cars so there goes getting some rest! Aww well. So the car ride ended up being 8 hours long. This has to be the worst 8 hours I’ve ever spent. First, in the incidents that there happens to be lines in the road no one pays attention to them. So I keep flinching because I swear we are going to wreck. Next, the roads are absolutely horrible! I want you to close your eyes and imagine you were to drive on the moon with all the craters and everything in a regular car. This is exactly how it is! So I say to myself, “it would be better if there were no road at al!”  And guess what…the road runs out! So now we’re driving on the sand. Not like a dirt road in the country but actual sand. Now is driving on sand better than driving on the moon? Why yes it is. Is it enough to really notice? Umm not really! So yes, we continuously go in between descent road (DC road), moon, and sand for like 8 hours.

Then we are in the middle of nowhere. I know we always say places are in the middle of nowhere but really, somewhere between Senegal and The Gambia is literally the middle of nowhere. There are no roads, no people, just sand. And honestly I had to start singing Have Faith in God to myself. And here’s the thing about the middle of nowhere, how do you know here to go? Like I said there aren’t roads anymore just paths I guess and several of them! So first, I thought back to my days in Dover, Oklahoma where the way to get to grandma and grandpas was like make a left at the red house and a right at the first light. I never learned the way to the farm (mainly because I wasn’t old enough to drive out there so I just sat in the back) but still that’s all that kept going through my head, “If I can’t get to my great grandparent’s farm how is he going to get us to The Gambia?!?!” It was seriously like when you see the big tree drive on the right side and the next tree drive on the left. I promise!

Anyhow, the most intriguing thing about this 8 hour drive was the people. From the moment we left the airport around 5:30am til we made it to our hotel around 1:30pm there were people out and about just walking around young and old. Now, I’m sure they weren’t just “walking around” but since I have no clue where they were going it looked to me as though that’s what was going on. And it is just like on t.v. the women are really walking around balancing baskets on their head. The kids are walking around in the sand. And it’s not that the people are dirty (that’s how they’re always depicted on tv) it’s just sand everywhere! So I watched people washing clothes, cleaning horses, and everything and it still looks like they just sat and kicked up dirt all day! Oh and another thing there are donkeys everywhere. I didn’t really to expect to see donkeys but my goodness! And you know they are rather cute animals.

I also noticed the distinctive difference between the have and have not’s. The only thing I will say about that is I’m very grateful that I will be allowed to experience this trip in the eyes of the haves. From what I have seen so far I cannot honestly say if I would enjoy Africa if this were not the case.

Oh and by the way I have eaten today and so far so good!!

The Flight

So the trip has started off a little rocky. Unfortunately I am sick! Like really sick people. I haven’t held down any food since yesterday. It started last night on my way to Alexandria I had to pull over two times to vomit. I didn’t sleep well last night because I kept going to the bathroom. So I said a little prayer and told Jesus I could not feel like this the whole way. I just couldn’t do it! So when it was time to get up my stomach was hurting but I wasn’t nauseous. Yes! I am healed! 

We get to the airport around 11:00a.m. Of course there is trouble finding my itinerary but everything works out.  Our first plane at departs at 12:20p.m. so we have time to get something to eat. I’m a little nervous because of last night but I’m feeling better, plus I have to eat to take my malaria pill so we get chipotle (not a good idea). We get on the plane and I start feeling a little sick but I’m ok. The first flight is only 45 minutes thank goodness all goes well.

We have a layover for about 3 hours in New York and that’s when it hits me. I am not healed L.Technically my prayer was answered because I said I couldn’t be like this the whole way and the first part was ok but umm…yeah. So, I lie down and try to sleep it off.

 It is time now to board the 2^nd plane which is a straight flight to Dakar, Senegal. The flight is only about 6.5 hours. That’s like a flight home and back, not too shabby. With the time change and all it ends up being 12 hours but since I’m still in the air so I haven’t felt the effects yet.

Alright back to the flight. So we board the plane and before we take off I know I’m not going to make it! So I kindly ask the man for a bag, go to the bathroom, handle my business, rinse my mouth out with mouth wash, and go back to my seat. As I was putting my mouth wash away it hit me, “they made this journey by boat.” After my third trip to the bathroom this nice white lady gave me some Pepto-Bismol tablets, the flight attendant brought me some ginger ale, and when they came by they kept asking me if I was ok. Way to make a bad situation bearable.

But back to my thought… they seriously made this journey on a boat, involuntary, lying down, and cramped together in chains. And when someone got sick they couldn’t get a bag and go to the bathroom and rinse their mouth out. There was no nice lady handing out medicine. And there was no “boat attendant” trying to make their trip as pleasant as possible. They made this journey by boat.

Follow me!!!!

So I leave for Gambia today and I’m super excited! I’ve always wanted to go to Africa. When I was younger my mom, who is going to kill me if she reads this, would always be like, “Shanel, why do you want to go there?”  I never had an answer. I just always knew that at some point and time in my life I wanted to go visit the birthplace of civilization; I wanted to go see exactly where my ancestors came from. When I told my parents I was going they both automatically assumed this would be a long term affair. My mom’s response was, “You’re not moving to Gambia!”  Calm down, I’m only going for a week. My dad’s response was, “So are you going for like a year or something. I think that’s great!” Once again calm down, I’m only going for a week.

Thankfully for me God worked through my lovely line sister Carlisha and allowed her to offer me this great opportunity. To say I’m anxious would be an understatement. I haven’t slept a full’s night sleep since last Friday (today is Thursday). My nerves are so bad they (or the medication I’m on) have caused vomiting and horrible stomach cramps. I think I may be a hypochondriac.

I want to give everyone a small glimpse of my experience so I will blog about it as often as I can. Check back to follow me as I explore The Gambia!